Apologies in advance if this post comes off as bitter at all.
I was thinking this weekend about how, on online dating apps, Asians are the most attractive race for females but the least attractive race for males. This is simply a fact – multiple studies have shown Asian females to get some of the highest match rates while Asian males face an uphill battle. What is less certain is why exactly this phenomenon exists. Hypothesis time:
- Is it because Asian females are physically more attractive than Asian males? This to me seemed strange. You’re born with the features you get, and theoretically on the whole Asian males and females should have the same proportion of eyebrow shapes, lips, cheekbones, nose shapes, hair, etc. In order to test this however, I ended up going on a website called photofeeler. Photofeeler is a website where you can upload pictures of yourself and other people can rate the photos. It’s meant to make it easier to select the best photos for dating apps, business photos, etc (although everyone uses it for dating let’s be real). I however decided to use it for a different purpose. I went ahead and uploaded a few photos. First, a batch of photos from Asians that I viewed as equally attractive. The guy had a flat nose…the girl had a flat nose…the guy had bad skin…the girl had bad skin…basically two people, where, if you put them side by side in China, people would probably consider them to be equally attractive.
The guy was predictably as abysmal as you would expect. Less than 2 for attractiveness, a medium score for intelligence (hello stereotypes), and a low score for trustworthiness. But the female was rated at an attractiveness score of under 7, with similarly high scores for intelligence and trustworthiness. Bear in mind this girl is no beauty whatsoever. My mom is Chinese raised in China, and she has many times commented on this girl being ugly by Asian standards. But for whatever reason, this girl is well above average according to Western standards. Weird.
I then decided to take the experiment a step further and submit pics of Asian siblings I knew where one sibling was a male and the other sibling was female. Again, the same story. The Asian males would consistently rate below average, while the Asian females would consistently rate well above average. One girl even made it to above 8, while her brother was less than half her score. Hopefully this goes without saying…but generally siblings have similar features. In any case, there shouldn’t be that big of a gap. So hypothesis 1 was chucked out of the window.
- Is it because Asian females, through their actions, are much more attractive than Asian males? This to me seemed strange too. As most of us probably know, Asians generally aren’t known to be good at sports. I myself was the only Asian guy on the high school soccer team (low key brag). On the asian female side of things, growing up in high school pretty much none of the Asian girls I knew did any sports outside of cross country. Both the guys and the girls get consistently good grades, study way too much, and probably play a bit too much video games. The asian females I know are mixed in terms of makeup and hairstyling and overall self-care, just like how the males are mixed in terms of working out, getting nice haircuts, and grooming habits. So while I can’t hard chuck this one out of the window, I can’t really say this is the reason either.
- So if it’s not the former two…what is it then? Why does society view Asian females as so much more desirable than Asian males when we’ve established that physically and mentally there’s not much difference? Unfortunately that sentence has the answer. It’s purely sociological. Mainstream media has consistently reinforced the idea that asian males are unattractive while their female counterparts are. Mainstream media has constantly shown white people of both genders to be attractive by consistently putting them in those roles. The hot male lead in tv show? White male. The hot girl in (insert marvel movie here)? White female. Because society is consistently reminded of this over and over again, it leads to people inadvertently believing it. It’s kinda like that girl that you saw in high school and thought at first that she wasn’t really that hot. But then your friends think she’s hot…and constantly talk about her…and then you start to notice that she does look a little different…and by simply noticing her more and more and looking at her you start to convince yourself that she’s hot. It’s the exact same concept. It’s not that Asian females are more desirable…it’s that they are perceived as being more desirable.
Where does this leave us? I’m honestly not sure. I think it’s a real pity that because of one thing – race – a group can be viewed as much less attractive. I especially hate it when Asians of both genders embrace this view. As an Asian male, you should not think that simply due to your race, you are less attractive than White males. Same thing regarding the females. In fact, by embracing this view, you are indirectly contributing to the problem yourself. I see a lot of WMAF hate on this subreddit. My personal opinion on it is that when a very handsome white male who has all the positives (wealthy, intelligent, good personality, etc) dates and marries an average or even below average asian female, I’m really happy for them. We should be happy that one of our less attractive managed to snag a more attractive mate. Where it’s annoying though is when you have some Asian females, who themselves are quite pretty, latch onto some subpar white dude just because he’s white. Then it gets my blood boiling. Then we have a problem. My rant ends here, thanks for reading!
P.S. if you score above a 5 as an asian male on photofeeler…you are no lie actually really attractive. don’t let society tell you otherwise!